Fucking great, now I can get hard? Really?! Why can’t you get up when I need you to? Prick. I just figured out that the pseudoephedrine mixed with sodium hydroxide produces this gas. This is a result of overheating the red phosphorus. I was up all night trying to figure out the right mixture, but I kept coughing up a damn lung, I’m assuming the gas I was inhaling is toxic. This is not bad a for a week’s worth of insomnia. I am getting further into the chemical process of creating a drug strong enough to treat your alcoholism, brother. Good thing you have been here to talk with me today. I’ve been feeling rather strung out; the wife keeps nagging about those stupid pills. I have been avoiding home for the longest time; I am always here in the lab. I can’t stop this shaking though. I’m not sure if I am developing Parkinson’s or if it is from this lack of sleep. I didn’t seem to notice much of anything before. I suppose she’s right; now that I think about it, I am not a very good husband, that’s for damn sure. Shit, my dick doesn’t even want to get hard any more. The pork and beans are useless; they just hang there now all dry and dusty. It is pretty fucking depressing.
I’m sorry you probably don’t want to be hearing any of this any way. I always seem to be complaining about this and that. So how have you been? Has work been treating you well? Yeah, it has been but, I have been feeling fucking low, man. I know I gave you that idea about treating my alcoholism, shit I even gave you the notes I took back when I was sober enough to hold a pen. I just feel like this medication you’re making is mine; you just have the money, time, and resources. You were always pop’s favorite, though. He always respected you while he neglected me. I was the one who developed this fucking sickness! Settle down. Here, do you want to try some of the testers I have created so far? I feel like it may just cool you down, take you down a notch or two. NO! Fuck that, I was up for two fucking weeks, man. Two weeks developing this shit, writing it down in my lab notes, perfecting it. But every time I thought it was perfect, it wouldn’t work. All of a sudden you are able to get the right mixture of this and that to make it work for you?! What the fuck! A week? Really?? That’s bull shit, two weeks I was up failing; then being the coward scum I am, turning to the bottle for a little liquid courage, I was able to keep going. Well, I am not going to let you take this away from me. You are the one who is the alcoholic remember? I am sober enough to mass produce it and possibly take it to the FDA to have inspected who knows; maybe it’s more than a cure for alcoholism. NO! You are not about to fucking take this from me!
I told you not to look at me. I’m a misfit in this land of opportunity. You can conjure up a grand idea out of dog shit. Everything I come up with is more worthless than shit. That’s the way this world works ya’ know? You get to be wealthy with everything going for you. A sexy-ass wife, kids, and a steady job; I’m just a pathetic nobody striving for attention. Your attention to detail is what led me to seek your assistance with this magnum opus. My pencil would scratch at paper eating up the eraser faster than you can say “Abilify.” This reminds me, I haven’t taken my meds today, but I don’t have time for those mental handcuffs now.
By the way, there is nothing you can do, you stole it from me. Days and nights, two fucking weeks without sleep, finally something I could be proud of! I simply asked you to critique it. What do you do? STEAL IT! Really? I was left with one objective: retribution. I thought of that fine piece of ass you call your wife. It was pretty easy; you know I always thought she was kind of a slut. I seduced her, but by the time I got her to your bedroom my Moby Dick wouldn’t get up. It was flaccid like a slice of cold bologna; I was too tired, strung out, and pissed off. I bet you can guess what I did next. I took it all out on her. I grabbed those Wal-Mart bags you kept under your bed and put them over her head. Oh, she struggled alright, scratched my back up real good. You see, my man; I wouldn’t have done it if you hadn’t stolen it. You took my sleepless nights of hard work and you pissed on it.
Steal my damn idea will you? Ya’ see what happens when you piss me off? I hope I taught you a valuable lesson. That needy whore of yours came on to me. She was easier than one of those girls in the Red Light District. I’m sorry for that though, I mean really. I was gonna grab those two little girls you have, take them out back to play doctor. Lucky for you, they were at school. What time is it? 3:15, huh? They should be home shortly then. Well I’m sure by now you feel the cold steel of this Glock 17 resting against the side of your skull. The barrel is cold as ice, makes you scared doesn’t it? No matter how big of a man you think you are, when you have a loaded gun held against you, it’s like a light switch: instant pussy. So any last words, before I blast those brains all over your beautiful cream colored walls? You hear that? I think your kids are home. I can’t wait to see their faces, once they find you.
“Daddy?! Why would you do this to yourself?”