My father’s penis grew from the tree which was latent with women’s desires. A curse of procreation had been shamed upon my family for generations, slain from the field of the Neverlands, the virgins of Nehemiah. Their lust for nothing but the loins of my family, for because of this I wished death upon my father, who is bigger in the bulge than most, therefore, he is harder to deceive.
In my culture, the younger son has to attempt to kill the father, once the son’s bulge is equal to that of the father’s. The ancient book of the Nehemiah culture states that the son is to use trickery on the father to show that the son is now the more intelligent one in the family. Once the son has killed the father, the village in which the family resides in has a celebration in which the dead fathers penises are cooked then eaten by the females that gave birth to whichever son has prevailed in the slaying of their father. This tradition has been going on in our culture for centuries. If I am unable to kill my father I would have been exiled from the village, never to return again. So in other words my penis needed to grow a lot within a few days as I prepared my trap for the slaying of my father.
My father is the leader of the Nehemiah tribe and has countless sons trying to take his throne, hell, I don’t even know if he is my real father, or that my thirty something brothers and sisters from another mother are even related to me. So, I am not alone in the proceeding of the throne. For my father has procreated with an unfathomable amount of females. I must find a way to make my bulge grow, so that I can fulfill the prophecy, the prophecy that the wise arch elf Shindor has written about. “The one of leading loins must rise out of the pit bathed in the father’s blood, to re-establish Nehemiah as the strongest and most resilient of the entire world.” I believed that I was that prophet.
After countless days of struggle and searching, I finally located Shindor in a cave on the south side of the village. He told me that I was not the prophet, due to the lack in size of my bulge. That angered me greatly, red with rage I took off for my residence. I then grabbed a rope, securely fastened it to my penis and tied off the other end of the rope to a boulder. I then dropped the boulder down the dark abyss of a well we have in the center of town. I then blacked out, I believe for I woke up cold and feeling nothing, where there used to be sensation. I then woke up in mass hysteria as I looked down only to notice that my penis was no longer attached to my body, in fact there was a massive pool of crimson blood covering me. That is about the time I panicked for I do not want my village to know I am now penis-less , for that would bring great shame to my family. So I run away, bleeding profusely and has lead me here to this…
”wait a second this is not real?”
“You are a tree…”
“But you were talking to me, You said you were a Christian?”